So this is a fun discussion sometimes. While it may seem 'depressing', I honestly feel like these stories are cautionary tales. I hope this is fine- I would like to refrain from referencing people by name, specific locations, or anything of that nature. I would like to keep in vague, simply because some folks on the internet have turned their personal stories into smear campaigns, and I don't want to do that.
So, all of that being said- what are some of your 40k horror stories? Smugman's Glow:
So, since I won't use names around these parts, I will refer to this player as 'Smugman'. I call him this because his entire personality reeked of 'smug'. He would do that thing where he talked over you or cut you off when you were speaking, and when he spoke he would close his eyes and move his head a lot with this condescending tone of voice and smirk that... well, made you really hate him the first time you encountered him.
At the gaming store we had, Smugman was always there. Smugman had no life, he apparently had no job, and he certainly didn't have any 'friends'. However, Smugman did have two things in droves: Disposable income
, and opinions
. And one was thrown into Warhammer 40k (and Fantasy, and pretty much everything, actually), the other was thrown at people who simply didn't want to hear them.
If you were showing an interest in something (in other words, 'looking at it'), Smugman would talk about it negatively- and not just in the way that "I don't like that"
, but in a way that came out as "That is dumb, and anyone who uses it is also dumb"
. If it wasn't something everyone was into, Smugman would always talk about how awesome it was and how 'dumb' people were for not being able to appreciate it. (The little game was to see how much of a span of time it took him to flip things around- in other words, we would see if he could talk about how 'lame and overrated' something was to one person, and then how 'awesome and underrated' the same thing was to another person- record was a half hour).
Smugman had tons of money- and no, I don't think that's a bad thing at all. I don't know where his money came from, because he was always
at the FLGS or other gaming events. Constantly, Smugman always had the newest 'thing'- and if he had it, he probably also had multiples. And the hilarious part was that he'd buy things he just outright said were 'dumb', and play it off and say "I'll buy it just to get on that level, y'know?"
(whatever that means).
Smugman also loved to brag, and when small games were going on- if a player said "Hey, if you put that into play, there's nothing I can do at all to mitigate it" (Baneblades were scary at the time, if I recall, and could dominate the table)- Smugman would go on about how it's not 'his fault' that players "aren't willing to seriously invest in the game"
. Smugman also loved to go on about how great Necromunda and Mordheim were, despite never being able to explain why- and he'd go on about how 'dumb' players were for not hunting these games down and playing them more than they do now.
So, once you encountered Smugman- and I mean it only takes one time
- you knew to stay away from him. He single-handedly made most people quit playing at the FLGS. And it got so bad, the FLGS put away all but one table
. That meant he was always there, at that
table. Now's the time to mention- if Smugman had decided to haunt your table, you could rest assured after everything you did- any move- he'd snort and shake his head (with his eyes closed). It didn't matter what it was you did- or your opponent did- he'd always have a 'response' like that, and grab the nearest person to him and start making comments and pointing and chuckling. If you asked him 'what?', he'd shake his head and chuckle and say, "Just keep playing your game, bro".
And sadly- Smugman wasn't just a Wargamer. He played, quite honestly- everything in the store
... which, of course, somehow made him believe he was an expert on it and that his opinion needed to be liberally applied to anyone
looking at anything
in the store.
It became the unspoken policy that as soon as Smugman spoke to or about you/your purchase/your game, you packed up and left. This started happening when people were shopping. Finally, the store owner had to ask him to 'only come in to shop'. I don't know what their 'connection' was, but it went on long enough.
A couple of weeks later, there were three tables to game on.